Women in leadership roles have been much discussed in the news lately. And even though the impact women in leadership positions are making globally is profound, the numbers of women occupying those leadership positions is still remarkably small.
In some circles, people say that the struggles women have faced to advance are no longer relevant.
I disagree. The difficulty of being a woman in a groundbreaking position is a struggle I have experienced firsthand, and I think the challenges are still present in many occupations and many cultures.
My journey to the cockpit was full of barriers and naysayers, and it was one that required grit, determination and perseverance. Even after I reached my goals, I tried not to draw attention to myself, I tried to maintain a low-profile. But along with being six feet tall, I was a woman in what had been boys-only game up to that point.
Wary of seeming arrogant, I avoided having pictures taken of myself in front of airplanes when my friends—mostly men—were snapping pictures left and right. In retrospect, this seems a little silly ( ok, A LOT silly), but at the time I didn’t want to stand out.
That was an impossible task.
In a US study on conformity to feminine norms, researchers uncovered what women associate as the most important attributes of femininity. These include:
- being friendly and nice in relationships
- pursuing a thin body ideal
- refraining from calling attention to one’s talents or abilities (modesty)
- maintaining the home (domesticity)
- caring for children
- investing in romantic relationships
- sexual fidelity
- using one’s own resources to invest in one’s personal appearance
The ideal of taking on a leadership role is nowhere in the list.
It’s important to understand why this matters.
All of this means that in order to conform, women need to be willing to play a small game and avoid rocking the boat. We’re expected not to be assertive, not to carry around an extra ten pounds, and certainly not to tell people we are kicking ass in our jobs.
But playing small serves nobody!
And trying to fit in or fly under the radar can negatively affect men just as well.
A study done by the Hay Group shows that women are less likely to take charge of their own career advancement.
And we are even hesitant to accept promotions if we don’t expect it or don’t feel 100 percent qualified for the position. We are less likely to be our own advocates and take charge of our journeys. Hoping, and believing that our performance will speak for itself…
Accepting a leadership position takes courage, regardless of your gender.
But avoiding new responsibilities out of fear of standing out, or by requiring 100% certainty means that you’re passing up your chance to grow into a high-performing leader.
Social norms can take a while to change, and when gender stereotypes persist, sometimes it’s hard to know when to challenge the status quo.
Women in Leadership: How can you tell when to stand up or stand out?
Here are three ways to stop flying under the radar as a woman in the workplace.
- Make Leadership a Goal: In a US study on conformity to feminine norms, researchers uncovered that the attributes women most associate with femininity are being friendly and nice in relationships, body image, child-rearing, and so on. Leadership? Nowhere in the list. Playing small serves nobody. Set a goal to take on leadership roles in your everyday life, in the workplace or out.
- Squash Self-Doubt: Henry Ford once said, “whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” By banishing your fixed mindset and recognizing that growth is possible, you’ll feel empowered to take new chances—even when you feel less than qualified for a position. Learning is always possible.
- Take No Notice of Naysayers: Even outside of the military, I’ve received criticism for taking on leadership roles. At a recent dinner with a client, a senior female executive asked me why I was working even though my husband works, too, and I have kids. This woman could not fathom why I would have ambitions outside of the home. If I wasn’t prepared to speak up and know my own value—removed from the feedback I receive from others—I wouldn’t be where I am today.
So for women in leadership, the norms are still the norms, and standing up and speaking out is what is required. Knowing your value, speaking up, and not flying under the radar—this is what fearless leadership is about.
Carey Lohrenz is the author of the Wall Street Journal Best Seller “Fearless Leadership: High-Performance Lessons from the Flight Deck.”
As one of the first female F-14 Tomcat fighter pilots in the US Navy, Carey Lohrenz is a pioneer in military aviation. Having flown missions worldwide as a combat-mission-ready United States Navy pilot, Carey is used to working in fast-moving, dynamic environments, where inconsistent execution can generate catastrophic results.
Carey has appeared on CNN, MSNBC, NBC, CBS, ABC, and NPR, and in Inc., Time, Huffington Post, and more.
She has delivered her leadership and strategy experience to 1000’s of the Forbes Global 2000, Fortune 500, and companies world-wide.
Carey is one of the most in-demand keynote speakers in the world, for both onstage presentations and virtual presentations. She’s also one of fewer than 200 inductees into the Professional Speakers Hall of Fame.
A CEO, Board Member, and Mom to 4 kids, Carey inspires individuals and organization to elevate their skillsets, lead through uncertainty, overcome adversity, win under pressure, and remain relevant in a competitive market place.